Program "should"

When I was given to read passages from the Old Testament describing what a wife "should be like", and I tried to sense how this might be perceived by women, something inside me rose in protest.

Not a teenage rebellion, but a bodily “no”, coming from the soul, from maturity.

My body recognized an old pain: a woman who is loved for meeting expectations, for who she is "supposed to be", for serving, rather than for the life within her.

It is clear that these texts were written (and rewritten many times by men seeking to establish power and control) thousands of years ago, for a patriarchal world — a world in which a woman was measured by her function, not by her depth.

And when these texts are read literally, without listening for the spirit behind them, they easily become a source of perfectionism, guilt, and quiet inner violence, and, as a result: a great deal of neurosis.

Some time ago I understood: the God I believe in does not ask a woman to disappear or freeze herself in order to be worthy of love.

He breathes within me when I am alive, feeling, imperfect, and when I have integrated my shadow,  not when I am playing the role of being convenient or “good” for someone. 

At some point, I made a choice.

I will no longer be “good” at the cost of losing myself.

I chose to be real.

And it was in that choice that I felt peace for the first time.

I said to myself:

“I am not required to be convenient in order to be in love.

I am at home — within myself.

I no longer need to argue with the world.

I simply do not give my soul away to it.”

Love to everyone — to yourself and to those close to you ❤

Inner peace to you 😻