How to Cope with the Loss of Loved Ones?

Grief… deep sorrow from losing someone dear… it’s beyond what words can describe.

In some cases shock, denial, anger, guilt, the desperate attempts to change circumstances we simply cannot change… So many heavy, unbearable feelings of injustice.

The depth and the entire process of grief depend on many factors.

The intensity of grief is very different when we lose a beloved partner or a grandmother, a son or a parent, an uncle or a neighbor, a friend or a sister, a father or a mother…

But… sooner or later, all of us in this life face this experience, one way or another.

And we all have the right to feel it as deeply as we need — depending on our capacity to feel, how close we were to the one we lost, and the strength of our psychic to handle everything happening.

It’s like peeling a cabbage, layer after layer — different feelings and emotions come up… with different intensity…

Allow yourself to feel it. No rush. Step by step. Without doubting the truth of your feelings.

And if you suddenly feel like crying — cry… As long as you need to. We are alive, we are real! We are allowed to feel! And we can live through the full spectrum of emotions that rise up.

You are not alone. I’m here with you. Let’s hold each other, at least on soul level, and let whatever needs to happen — happen, without resisting, without worrying how it looks. That doesn’t matter right now.

Sadness, longing, even depression… They can all be part of this, and that’s okay.

It won’t feel this bad forever. After we sink down on this emotional swing, we will inevitably rise again — when the time is right.

For now, just feel. Be present in your body and notice exactly what you feel right now. Absolutely anything is okay. Where in your body do you feel it? What color is it? What density? What size? Just observe… and cry if you want to.

You can scream, move or stay still, shake, clench your fists, punch a pillow, throw things around the room, stomp your feet, moan, even yell (if someone is nearby, you might want to warn them so they don’t get scared — reassure them you’re okay, you’re just in your process, and you’ll return to your usual self soon). Freezing in stillness is also okay.

And for now — breathe. Just breathe and feel… Stay with it… Don’t waste a single drop of attention on anything else but what is present right now.

Read further later, if you want to…

You did everything you could. You are not to blame. There was nothing left you could change.

Guilt should not overshadow the good that was between you and the soul who has left.

Life will never be the same. Your task now is to learn to live differently, with this pain — gradually breathing it out.

I don't know what exactly you feel, but I am here with you, if you want me to be. Or I can leave you in peace, if that’s what you need. Speak your truth — don’t be afraid to say what you really want right now, and how others can help. They’re waiting for a sign from you!

You have the right to push support away, while secretly hoping someone will still reach out to help. And of course, you have the right to ask for help!

Grief knows where it’s leading you. While grief is guiding you, I’m right here beside you.

You don’t have to change anything until you feel it’s truly your time to do so.

And it’s okay to feel self-pity, irritation, even anger at those who are still alive and seem to enjoy life.

Or rage at the one who left you… “How could they???” Or anger at God — “How could He allow this???” And “HOW am I supposed to live on now???”

Give yourself time… Step by step… Exhale.

You have the right to say goodbye to the one who passed away in your own way, with whatever strength you have right now.

However it turns out — that’s the right way for you.

And now, I suggest to remember all the brightest, warmest moments you shared with this person…

I’m sure there’s so much to remember, isn’t there?

Write to me if you want. I’d love to hear about it! Maybe even share some photos of those moments? I’ll be waiting!

Let’s thank the departed soul together for the path you walked side by side! And let’s remind them, if they’ve forgotten: they are Light! Say it out loud:

“You are LIGHT! You are LOVE! I love you! I thank you for everything we shared!”

You can also add: “I will be okay! I can handle this!” Or share your own thoughts and feelings.

I’m with you! Hugging you gently with my soul (if you want a hug)! Take care of yourself! Love yourself! I love you! Breathe! Live!!! Together we can get through anything!

Write to me if you need support or a talk!